During the autumn months of 2021, clouds of sadness hung over our family, as we lost three wonderful men. The first was a cousin who lost his 20 year battle with Parkinson’s disease. Before his retirement, he and his wife ran a successful restaurant in Ohio that we all called our “second kitchen”. The consummate host, Emil was happiest interacting with guests, and enjoying their appreciation of Cite Grill’s warm ambience and delicious cuisine. We still miss his infectious laughter and love of gathering at the table.
Shockwaves gripped our family when my husband’s older brother Keith was admitted with sepsis and kidney failure – and ultimately arrested and couldn’t be revived. He was a skilled dentist who hopscotched between Florida and Pittsburgh every week, attending to the needs of his patients and devoting his time to his wife and family on his time off. Keith was always ready to go the extra mile if you needed something, and especially took pleasure in spoiling his granddaughters. We have many happy memories of his hosting family celebrations – always with lots of love, laughter and great food.
Our last loss was my precious father, who at 93 years succumbed to the failure of his frail body to live another day. We prayed that God would call him to heaven, as his quality of life had long been far from optimum. In his prime, Dad delighted in blessing people with treats – candies for the post office workers and the bank tellers, and mom’s meatballs for the office luncheons, just to name a few. Dad prided himself on his good driving skills, and would drive hours – even through blinding snowstorms – to pick someone up if they needed a ride. He had such a giving heart, and was loved by so many. Dad sacrificed to achieve his goal of my sisters and I attending college, and we will never forget that. We felt his love deeply.
What we remember about those who have left us is not what they had, but who they were.
After my sisters and I spent days clearing out all of my parents possessions, we each felt tremendous sadness (and a splash of guilt) at how quickly we evaluated what should be kept or discarded. It was as if we threw their lives away. But what balanced out these feelings was the realization that more important than all the stuff left behind was the legacy of love and kindness that Dad gifted to our family. And the same is true for Emil and Keith.
These memories of our loved ones are what will be forever imbedded in our minds and passed down to the next generations.
So, when all is said and done, what is it that truly matters?
Surely it’s not all the tchotchkes we have accumulated over the years, or the excess number of shoes in our closets. (I’m speaking for myself here.)
What we leave to our families, friends, and to the world is the essence of our hearts and souls.
And so, dear readers, let’s wrap our lives in love, and leave a trail of hope and faith.
Fill your legacy box with all the best of yourselves.
And in the meantime, maybe we’d better get busy and purge a few closets…
“Now faith, hope, and love remain—these three things—and the greatest of these is love.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:1
I’m touched to tears by your words and wise conclusions. Oh, that I had started the journey you recommend so much earlier in my life! But even at this late stage, I am trying. Much love to you, dear friend.
Thank you for your words, Karen. I’m thankful for the many awarenesses God continues to bring to our attention as we journey through life. And I’m grateful for the gift of our friendship! xo
thank you Toni…so beautifully expressed..love you
Thank you for reading! xo
I’m sorry to hear. Prayers with you. Deb
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Thank you, Deb. Today was the 1 year anniversary of the first of the 3 deaths in our family.
So sorry for your loss, Toni, Joe, and family. May they all be surrounded by God’s loving arms and remain in your heart’s memory forever!
Thank you, Susie. The memories of these deaths, even after 1 year, just came flooding back. And knowing that our loved ones are in heaven with our Lord is truly a comfort.
Dear Toni…thankyou for sharing your journey of loss. Such true words spoken from your sensitive and reflective heart and soul. I am so sorry to hear this news. Please pass on our deepest condolences to Joe as well. We too know those feelings as John’s sister passed into heaven just days ago. She received a diagnosis 6 months ago of cancer but it had already spread through her body. She will be missed not only by her patients she treated as a retina specialist but by those lives she touched because of her deep love of Jesus and her desire to serve Him. John told me that the hospitals will be flying their flags at half mast in her honour. Miss you. 💗
I miss you too, Mary, and I’m sorry for the loss of John’s sister. I know she touched the hearts and healed the eyes of many through her practice. I’m glad to know she shared the light of Jesus as well. May you and John and your family be comforted as you grieve, knowing that she is enjoying eternal life now, free of disease and pain. Both Joey and I send our love and sympathy.