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Mixed Signals : When Looking Back is a Good Idea

Posted in General on May 13, 2014| 16 Comments »

canstockphoto15892983It was the perfect day for the first bike ride of the season. Blue skies, no wind, pleasant temperature.

We set out to ride our usual loop – enough hills to get a decent workout, with flat stretches in between to allow for enjoying the scenery.

Pedaling along was glorious.

At the first turn, we stopped for a water break. A female cyclist coming from the other direction also made the turn and ended up in front of my husband, Joey.

As we continued the ride,  he got further and further ahead. I didn’t think twice about it, as he is a faster rider to begin with.

However, the gap between us kept growing.

I looked ahead, wondering when he was going to pass that woman. Whew, he’s really zipping along, I thought.

Things weren’t quite right when I arrived at the intersection (6 miles later) where he always waits up for me – and  he was nowhere in sight.

My otherwise pleasant thoughts took a turn.

Why didn’t he stop and wait?

Is he trying to set some kind of speed record, or what?

I thought we were supposed to be riding together!

What if I were injured, laying on the side of the road –  he wouldn’t even know it!

Ashamedly, I briefly entertained the vengeful thought of just turning around and heading back home, but decided to forge on. I had to find him eventually, right?

Meanwhile…. 

Somehow, on that first turn, Joey must have been putting his water bottle back and thought that I was the one who passed him up, leading the way.

Here were his thoughts:

Wow, Toni is really booking it!  Good for her!

After a few miles:

What’s up with her trying to be the Alpha?  I can’t catch up!

She hasn’t even stopped once for water.

I thought we were supposed to be riding together, not racing!

The enjoyable, leisurely ride we each had envisioned was not transpiring.

And each of us started fuming about it.

What the heck is he/she thinking?  I’m really mad at him/her!

When the cyclist Joey had been following (who, by chance, was wearing a shirt similar to mine)turned and crossed the highway, he yelled, Toni, come back -You’re going the wrong way!

(Wonder what she was thinking?)

At that point he decided to stop and wait, figuring I would eventually realize my mistake and turn around.

I finally caught up to him.

Exasperated, he asked why I never stopped.

Incredulous, I asked the same question of him.

He then realized that it wasn’t me he had been following.

Why he failed to wait for me suddenly made sense.

We howled with laughter as we recounted our thought progressions during the course of the ride.

All of our “ticked-offness” dissipated into thin air, followed by more laughter… and happy hugs. (the best part!)

We hopped back onto our bikes, savoring the remainder of the ride….together.

Is there a moral to this story?

Well…I suppose that using the rear view mirror would have cleared up the matter of mistaken identity.

But then again…we wouldn’t have had so much fun laughing (and hugging!).

We would have missed the gift of having this amusing story to add to our memories.

And, the last part of the ride wouldn’t have been quite so special…

You may not remember the time you let me go first. 
Or the time you dropped back to tell me it wasn’t that far to go. 
Or the time you waited at the crossroads for me to catch up. 
You may not remember any of those, but I do and this is what I have to say to you: 
Today, no matter what it takes, 
we ride home together.”

~Brian Andreas, Traveling Light: Stories & Drawings for a Quiet Mind

 

 

 

 

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Excuses, Excuses: Why Do We Keep Making Them?

Posted in General, tagged on March 27, 2014| 12 Comments »

canstockphoto8785750Procrastination is a characteristic of mine that I am not particularly proud of.

The morning went something like this:

(Upon awakening)  Wow!  I have almost 3 hours until rehearsal.  I can get in some quiet time, exercise, and catch up on a few chores before leaving the house.

(After coffee and my husband leaving for work) I’ll just get the kitchen cleaned up before I sit down with my devotional. Then my mind will be  more settled.

(Kitchen in state of  partial clean up, glancing at the fireplace) Boy, that  wind was fierce yesterday! I had better clean out the fireplaces and close the flues.

(On the way to get the ash bucket, looking at the  the dining room mirror)  Oh my, I could get rid of those nasty streaks with my new Mystic Maid cloth that a friend gave me!  She says it works like a charm.

(Admiring the crystal clear glass)  Amazing!!!  It won’t take too long to wipe off all of the other glass surfaces in the house.

(Parts of the house, newly sparkled)  Hey, why not try this on the piano!  After all, the tuner is coming this afternoon – and he really wouldn’t want to look at  3 days of dust, would he?

(Looking at the clock)  Let’s see…that only took 1 hour.  I still have time to vacuum out the fireplaces, and do the floors, too.

(Taking the bag of ashes down to the trash)  While in de-cluttering mode, I might as well get rid of the mountain of recycling in the garage.  I can’t stand looking at it any longer! I can take it all to the dump on the way to rehearsal.

(After loading up the car)  I had better hustle if I want to squeeze in some prayer time.   But oops, I forgot I was supposed to copy that music for rehearsal!  

(Abandoning the copy attempts – machine not cooperating) I really should send those emails before heading out.

(Finishing emails, and refraining from attempting to get to the next level on Candy Crush) I’ll have just enough time to get a quick shower.

Then…the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer walloped me right between the eyes.  I subscribed to his email Devotional, shortly after Lent began.

And here are his words:

Prayer offered in early morning is decisive for the day. The wasted time we are ashamed of, the temptations we succumb to, the weakness and discouragement in our work, the disorder and lack of discipline in our thinking and in our dealings with other people – all these very frequently have their cause in our neglect of morning prayer. The ordering and scheduling of our time will become more secure when it comes from prayer.

It was then that I knew that every bit of my frantic “doing” did not clear my mind in the least.  And the smear-free mirrors and pristine piano lid matter little in the big picture.

They certainly did not help the day to unfold in a more orderly fashion, either…and  all the while, my guilt kept increasing.

I regretfully admit that as I piled on chores, the opportunity to spend time with God dwindled away to nothing.

And I’m sure this preoccupation must  have disappointed Him. And, no doubt, He sees through my flimsy excuses.

My “spin-cycle” morning finally stopped when it pointed in the right direction: toward God, and the need to put Him at the top of the list – with no excuses or distractions.

Tomorrow is a new day;  my quiet time will come first.

Then, with a prayer and peace-filled heart, the day can begin.

O Lord, hear me as I pray;
    pay attention to my groaning.
Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,
    for I pray to no one but you.
 Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
    Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.  ~Psalm 5:1-3

 

 

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When Being Last No Longer Matters

Posted in General on February 24, 2014| 3 Comments »

 canstockphoto14294248Memories of our most humiliating moments can surface at the oddest times.

While watching gifted athletes win medals at the Winter Olympics, I find my heart wondering what it must feel like to be the final competitor crossing the finish line.

Sure, it is a supreme honor to participate in the Games…but, really, if given the choice, one would rather not bring up the rear.

I was moved by the Gold Medalist from Switzerland who waited 28 minutes for the last cross-country skier to cross the finish line.

Competing with broken ribs, the skier from Peru was welcomed with an embrace.

What a beautiful and generous gesture.

Live in the Light of My Presence by fixing your eyes on Me. Then you will be able to run with endurance the race that is set before you, without stumbling or falling.

When I read Sarah Young’s words in my daily devotional, a long-buried image flashed before me.

It was during a 5k race for our daughters’ school, decades ago, back in Ohio.

Besides not being particularly fond of competing in athletic events, I am a slug of a runner – so the odds were not in my favor.

As the race progressed, I got further and further behind. Until finally, only the sound of the sag wagon 20 feet behind me was my company on the road.

It was an awful feeling.

As I approached the dreaded moment when I would join the long-finished runners, my friend Norm suddenly appeared at my side.

 Come on, I’ll run this last stretch with you.

Revisiting that point in time still causes my eyes to well up. His thoughtful gesture made me realize that he knew just how I felt.

And so does God.

Some acts of kindness remain with us forever, and this is one of them.

So…figuratively speaking, what race are you running?  Have you taken your first few steps, or are your shoes still waiting to be laced up?

Whatever your life’s direction is, here are a few things to remember:

  • You are never alone because God is always with you – even if it doesn’t feel like it.
  • When the ‘Norms’ of the world appear in your life, savor the surprise – and be grateful.
  • Though the road may appear empty, companionship and empathy are just around the corner.

Has someone rescued you from one of your worst moments?

Feel free to share, if you desire…or at least, bless them with your gratitude once again.

And most of all, thank God for being our Champion Rescuer.

He welcomes everyone with the same love and grace.

Even the last to finish.

So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it! ~Hebrews 12:12-13 (The Message)

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The Incessant Thump

Posted in General, tagged on February 5, 2014| 16 Comments »

IMG_1717A cell phone was thrust at me, bearing this message:  He needs you….he is outside.

It was nearing the end of our MMI project in Cienaga, Colombia, and registration was closed.

Moved by this earnest request, I attempted to get more details. With my fractured Spanish, I was able to understand that “he” was “especial” and couldn’t walk. He was near the gate, with his parents.

I asked if I could see him, and they hurried out to retrieve him.

Very soon,  a mother and father approached, pushing a wheelchair that held a boy who appeared to be around 6 years old.  He was severely handicapped – so much that at first sight, my heart sank.

What, if anything could we do to help him?

The faces of his parents, smiling and hopeful, prompted me to bring them inside. We just couldn’t turn them away, I thought.

As we entered the area where patients are screened by the doctors, the sad look on my husband’s face answered my question.

I broke down, the weight of this realization overwhelming.

Surely there must be something we can do or say to this family, I said tearfully.

Gently, my caring husband leaned over to take a look. This beautiful young man suffered from osteogenesis imperfecta, a disease that causes weak bones that break easily. At present, there is no cure.

He was 22 years old.

His parents brought him to our clinic because he complained of burning, itchy eyes. They were thrilled when he received artificial tears and a pair of sunglasses.

And his smile was precious.

Sometimes the smallest gestures can make the biggest impact.

Thanking us profusely, they left the clinic, as the patients who requested that he be seen watched and smiled – and thanked us as well.

This moment during our project has inhabited my heart continually, along with the memories of many other people that we were unable to help –

– except for our smiles, tender touches, and, in extreme cases, our prayers.

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Our success stories were many.  Approximately 4, 400 patients were seen; of these, only about 500 were discharged. All others received glasses, and 183 patients had cataract surgeries.

Though I continue to reflect on the valiant grace and quiet acceptance exhibited by the many patients with irreparable eye disease, the thoughts of the many people whose vision improved because of our project bring comfort…and gratefulness for the opportunity to serve them.

As one of our post-cataract patients said, Your group has changed many lives.

That is true indeed – but the fact is, in our efforts to bring the light of Jesus to our patients, our hearts are changed as well.

I have set an example for you, so that you will do just what I have done for you. ~ John 13:15 (GNT)

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When God Does the Impossible

Posted in General, tagged , , on January 16, 2014| 17 Comments »

canstockphoto14219450The conversation went like this….

L: (5 days ago) I am praying for a miracle – that you will get another ophthalmologist to join your mission team in Colombia.

Me: Many people have been praying for this, and we are so grateful – but at this late date, it could never happen.

L:  I am not giving up!

Me: Well, you go right ahead. (secretly thinking, Fat Chance!)

J: (at dinner, 2 days later) I got the strangest email today. An ophthalmologist who found out about our mission project said she wishes she had known, because she would love to come, and is available.

Me: Well, L has been praying for a miracle.  Maybe this is it!

J:  Maybe I should call this doctor and ask if she is serious about this.

Me: (Beginning to think a ray of hope might be breaking through the clouds)  Why not? Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

J: (the next day)  She would love to come, but doesn’t have all of the money to fund the trip. 

L:  Aren’t there any donors you could ask?

T:  Everyone in our circles has done so much already; we can’t ask any more.

Later that day, a conversation with our project director…

J: Well, one third of the trip cost has been provided, thanks to a mission foundation.  And now that I think of it, I recall that there are some surplus funds available from another organization I am part of. (another one third, covered!)

J: (The next morning, 3 days before the project begins)  Can you believe it? She is coming, and excited to join our team! All the arrangements have been made!

I  had goosebumps (and teary eyes) for a few hours after this, in awe of God’s power and providence.  I know He is capable of working out details beyond our wildest imaginations – but me, of lesser faith than my friend, never  believed for one minute that this was possible.

For the addition of this doctor, and for this important lesson, I am deeply thankful. God is equipping our team with the professionals that we need – and preparing our hearts to pour out His love in the weeks ahead as we serve the people of Cienaga, Colombia.

We are wholeheartedly ready.

Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. ~I Thessalonians 5:17-19

We thank everyone who has been praying for our Medical Ministry International team as we prepare for  our eye project in Cienaga, Colombia, and would be grateful for continued prayers during our project.

Special thanks to Lois – prayer warrior supreme… and believer in miracles.

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