Love, Laughter, and Listening with the heart…this was the experience of my weekend. On the cusp of the arrival of Emily and Ray’s new baby – and grandchild number three! – family and friends showered them with necessities for their little one.
From the elders in the group, myself included, came stories about every aspect of pregnancy, labor and delivery, and child rearing. Advice was generously offered – and graciously accepted.
A cherished part of the weekend was time spent with my precious YaYa’s – dear friends of 25+ years from my Ohio days. Free flowing conversation with few interruptions…and words received with full attention. As always, we latched onto the threads of our last shared words (weeks ago) without dropping a stitch.
Even more special…celebrating Emily’s 35th birthday…and sharing the excitement and anticipation of childbirth. These moments are without duplication, especially after a new infant enters the world and requires so much energy and care; extended, uninterrupted talking time is at a premium.
In my efforts to be fully present (an ongoing challenge), the absence of Continuous Partial Attention over the weekend was so refreshing.
According to Linda Stone, who identified this phenomenon, “It is an always-on, anywhere, anytime, any place behavior that involves an artificial sense of constant crisis.”
How many times do we think, “Oh my gosh, I just got a text/email. It might be really important, so I better check it now.”
In essence, CPA, as I call it, is paying partial attention continuously. (and how many of those emails are truly worth the distraction?)
Communications from outside sources trump and discard the opportunities before us.
We all observe this behavior – each and every day – in public places, and with those we care about, as they prioritize electronic messaging while in the presence of others.
I am the first to admit my guilt in being a bit too dependent on my Blackberry (and I also am ramping up my efforts to lessen that focus).
Thankfully, God isn’t consumed by technology!
In thinking about meaningful advice for Emily and Ray – and all young parents, I came to the conclusion that the simple gift of undivided attention is one that children value highly – almost as much as the unconditional love they so desire – and deserve.
As adults, it is when we ourselves are recipients of this increasingly rare “whole presence” that we feel fully accepted, loved, and heard. Such encounters of the heart permeate our souls, the gracious listening refreshing us.
In our quest to be welcoming and attentive listeners, let us also remember where our own voices can always be heard…
…in the presence of Him who is continually available – to us all.
Additional Reading: Have We Forgotten How to Concentrate?
When Someone Deeply Listens to You – a beautiful poem by John Fox
beWARM 
Toni, dear – what a lovely morning meditation you provided. The poem by John Fox (the others on the web page were equally moving and thought-provoking) is blessed with similes perfect for the subject matter! I was reminded as I read your blog today about the times my children, when little, in the final attempt to make themselves heard over their constantly-talking mom’s voice, would pull me down to their level and take my face in both their hands and turn it to their own sweet, clear-eyed faces – why didn’t I learn the best lesson from them? Thanks for sharing your heart today! So glad you’re back!!
much love to my sister…….
b.
Thank you for sharing your memories, Betty! I recall similar moments…all that busyness that comes with being a young mother! There is much to learn from our children…
Much love back to you….
My dear, dear friend, it was indeed a beautiful weekend spent together, full of of sharing and caring, love and laughter. Sharing Em’s birthday as she anticipates her first-born, I was remembering her birthdays as a tot with all of our families together…our albums are filled with these cherished memories. And now we rejoice as our children begin to fill the pages with theirs! much love from Ohio xoxo