If only I had…
If only I hadn’t…
My guess is that these words have inhabited all of our minds more than once throughout our lives. If we are not careful, second guessing can really smudge up our thinking.
I write this from Portland, Oregon where I have been for the past week, helping Emily with the Divine Miss V as she begins a new job.
Relocation is enough of a challenge to begin with – and Emily has had her share of hurdles and heartaches related to that. When Kristy did some reconnaissance and found that “perfect” apartment – and, better yet, the movers’ schedule meshed with Emily’s, we heaved a sigh of relief.
Whew…at least that detail was falling into place.
That peace of mind instantly evaporated when Emily found out that the landlord had rented to someone else – after she had actually seen the apartment and loved it.
Another huge disappointment in a string of many.
If only the landlord would have taken Kristy’s offer of a deposit…
If only Emily could have arrived in Portland a few days sooner…
So here we are, in an apartment hotel that is fairly reasonable (thanks to Abby’s charm in negotiating the nightly rate), addicted to refreshing the “Portland Apartments for Rent” page on Craigslist every 10 minutes, hoping that we can find one comparable to that one that slipped away.
And the movers, loaded with Emily’s things, are driving westward at this moment.
I admit, I have succumbed to the “if onlys” more than once during these past days. And truly, in the grand scheme of things, these issues are not insurmountable – even though they seem overwhelming right now.
As He often does, God has oh so gently guided my wayward thoughts back in His direction, allowing me to, first of all, be in a place of thanksgiving, appreciating our blessings.
At least we have a place to stay…
At least Emily has a job…
At least Abby and Kristy are close by…
Down deep I know and trust that God will handle all of the details – and that He can do what might seem impossible to us. Keeping that mental billboard flashing brings a peace and confidence that will surpass all difficulties.
…As does one of my favorite verses…
Trust in the LORD with all your heart ,and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6
beWARM 
My love and prayers have certainly been with all of you during each part of this ordeal. You’re all so wonderful, and one of the best parts of this is that all of you get to be together and help each other through every difficulty! (And, of course, all of the fantastic Nana time with little V :-))
Love you all so much!
XOXO
Maria
and we love you, too! :) thanks so much for your much-needed prayers…
As you say, Toni, “Trust in the Lord”! I feel your frustration. We will be on the road in a couple of weeks moving Pete to Wilmington, NC. Our children are scattered everywhere and I depend greatly on God keeping them safe and happy. Thanks for reminding me in your own way, that there is a silver lining there somewhere! Love to allyour family!
~Susie
Oh Susie, we worry so much about the health and safety of our children, especially when they are far away. We always have to remember that God loves them even more than we do. May you have a safe trip with Pete – and we send our love to everyone in your family! xo