beWARM

I am concerned that face-to-face conversation will one day cease to exist.

Sometimes I have disconcerting visions of  the future, imagining a world where glassy-eyed people are glued to their electronic devices for hours on end, uttering few words – and where common courtesy is a foreign language.

On a recent hotel stay, we were astonished to see young couples at breakfast more immersed in their Kindles than each other. Or the sad face of the wife whose husband was totally consumed by his iPad screen during their entire lunch. Few words were uttered at either table.

How has enjoying the experience of being together become so devalued that we have allowed such distractions?

A recent article in the New York Times entitled The Flight From Conversation echoes my sentiments.

Author Sherry Turkle writes, We’ve become accustomed to a new way of being “alone together.” Technology-enabled, we are able to be with one another, and also elsewhere, connected to wherever we want to be. We want to customize our lives. We want to move in and out of where we are because the thing we value most is control over where we focus our attention. We have gotten used to the idea of being in a tribe of one, loyal to our own party.

Now more than ever is the time when we should strive to be truly present to those around us, appreciating their thoughts and ideas  as well as the verbal nuances of  discourse. This would certainly prevent the development of LFRC syndrome (Longing For Real Conversation).

In our electronicTalk world – iPhones, iPads, and iPods and other devices encourage us to be the center of our universe, allowing us an escape route from deep connection amidst our constant communication. We skim over the details of our lives, and then click to the next screen/channel. (and by the way, did you ever wonder about the significant use of the preface “i”… as in me, myself, and I ???)

Think of the last time you had a heart-to-heart talk with someone and how you felt afterward.  Moments such as those can never be duplicated in cyberspace.

Make time for real conversation; gift yourself with the presence of your loved ones – and seek to know them better. Turn off your phone; turn on your undivided attention.

And enjoy the beauty of shared words – live and in person.

When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup
you’ve had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
you are loved.

When someone deeply listens to you
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind’s eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!

When someone deeply listens to you
your bare feet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.
~John Fox