Have you ever been listening to a radio program intently, when suddenly, much to your frustration, the sound becomes fuzzy and far away?
That is an apt description of my spiritual journey for the past few weeks.
Though I have not “changed the channel”, copious amounts of static have interfered with my connection – so much that my attention has been diverted away from what is most important.
How could I allow this to happen?
This takes me back to my college days, when the imminent approach of piano juries and final exams would prompt me to place organizing my closet or cleaning my dorm room as a top priority.
Here I am, 40 years later, still struggling with those nasty avoidance/procrastination issues.
Except now, God’s persistence cuts through the static. He prods me to stop and think about what might be the root cause of my distraction. He encourages me to bring these issues to the forefront and look them straight in the eye.
No more hiding behind household chores, piles of emails, phone calls, or mindless web surfing when God is calling.
This temporary mindspin had me in a vicegrip which was not the least bit pleasant.
So I asked…begged God to help me out of it.
What finally cleared up my reception issues (and aren’t they related to my word for the year, receive?) was honestly admitting what was preventing me from sitting down each day for quiet, restful time with the Lord.
Contemplating my contemplative challenges proved to enlighten; and admitting my weaknesses and confessing my lack of discipline lifted the heavy weight from my heart.
Feeling far away from God is no fun at all.
Once I was honest with myself, those pesky attention diverters quieted down – and moments with God became the anchor points of my day.
I could almost hear Him saying, Don’t touch that dial! I am working to resolve your technical difficulties! With your consent, you will soon hear My Voice clearly.
God always has something to teach us – even during brief lapses when we think He is somewhere in the distance.
May you feel Him next to you today…and hear His every whisper.
For he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care.
If only you would listen to his voice today! Psalm 95:7
beWARM 
I am so grateful for these thoughts. Some times I feel alone when I have static and hearing this from you confirms that there are others on this journey. Thanks, Toni, for posting. I had a good contemplative time this morning with the Lord and feel more prepared for all that lies ahead this week.
Linda
Happy to hear about your quiet time this morning, Linda – and glad we can support each other on our journeys…..
Bless you, Toni, for your radical honesty. You are just so wonderfully human and divine! Thanks for being an encouragement to us all.
Toni,
Please excuse me for using this forum for a message that is somewhat off topic, but it is the only way I could discover to contact you. I was at your Dvorak performance yesterday, and I wanted to tell you that I very much admired your playing. (My only half-regret is that you didn’t have the lid up.) As it happens, I’ll be performing the piano part of Beethoven’s trio, op. 1, no. 3, at the Music on Barcelona Series next month. But I wouldn’t have bothered to tell you any of this if I hadn’t discovered that you’re from Farrell, Pa. What a coincidence, since I’m from Sharon. I’m 68 years old, and my first teacher was Goldie Randolph on Pringle Street, after which I took lessons from Mr. Tavolario in Youngstown until I went away to prep school when I was 14. Did you ever take lessons from either of these teachers, or perhaps from Nellie Polangin?
I hope to hear more of your playing.
Best wishes,
David Bolotin
You wrote this in March, but it has awesome implications for me now in December. xoxo
Glad it resonated with you – and, from time to time, I still have to tune out the “interference” that keeps me from staying close to Him… xo