beWARM

I think I may remain in baby and toddlerland indefinitely.

Insulated from the world at large for the past two weeks, daily life has assumed a simplicity of sorts.  Meals and laundry punctuate activities with Enza as we encourage her in her new role as The Big Sister.  Theo, on the other hand, can while away the hours with his snoozing.

What  better place to sit with prayerful thoughts than with a sleeping infant in your arms?

Snuggling with Enza to watch a “viveo” is a close second.

World and national events occur whether or not I am paying attention. My phone transmits the major headlines – but beyond that, I am clueless. And that might not be a bad thing these days.

What I have lacked in intellectual stimulation has been supplanted by imaginative pursuits.  I have “traveled” to the jungle and Hawaii, defended myself from shark attacks, run endless laps around the house playing Santa and Rudolph(complete with jingle bells), gyrated at dance parties, and sung endless Christmas carols.

In the food and craft department, we have baked reindeer cupakes, cut-out cookies and buckeyes (Ohio State still rules), colored pictures and stuck stickers on paper. Q-tip paintings are a popular pastime as well.

Walks around the neighborhood have led to the coffee shop, Enza’s preschool, the playground, and…to nowhere in particular.  The beauty of being with a toddler is the lack of concern for the destination. Rather, the act of journeying is the thrill of it all.

Back in the Christmas mode, we have seen The Nutcracker and visited the reindeer farm where Donner and Blitzen happily munched their greens as they rested up for their Christmas Eve duties.

We managed to squeeze in ballet and swimming lessons, too.

And to think I have been here barely two weeks…

Idyllic as all  of this may sound, I have taken a few licks.  I anticipated being rebuffed occasionally in deference to Mom and Dad…but being told, “Nana, you have a smooshie bum” did sting a  bit (after I stopped laughing). Oh, from the mouths of babes…

What I do realize is that these precious moments are times that can not be duplicated…ever again.  And how fortunate am I to experience this daily routine so different from my own.  Receiving people and events at face value, being curious about everything, living with innocent gusto…toddlers do  provide lessons in being fully present.

Real life, suspended, does have its perks. Who cares if you stay in your jammies until late morning, or if you’re having a bad hair day. None of this holds importance in little lives.

And what a feeling it is when that small sweet hand reaches up for mine…

As Christmas approaches, I wish for all of  your hearts to sing like jingle bells, soar like  reindeer, and be full of love and thanks for the birth of the baby Jesus. His unconditional love appears everywhere – and especially in the souls of little ones.

May we all see the world more like they do…

Observing a newborn as he experiences the world is both fascinating and mind-boggling.  Imagine your own brain, devoid of all thoughts, images, and feelings.  Then…a sudden explosion… followed by a kaleidoscope of sights and sounds, coming at you from all directions.

Consider the magnitude of everything that Theo’s little brain is processing…what might my new grandson be thinking?

I could watch him for hours on end as I try to imagine this experience.

What freedom there is in possessing a mind without preconceived ideas!  Try as I might to visualize my brain as empty, the mental chatter still floats, suspended in midair as I attempt this figurative “deletion”.  I am reminded of picturing myself “erasing” my thoughts off of a blackboard – a technique I used to use (not with great success) on nights when sleep failed to appear on schedule.

I would love to trash some of my brain files that serve no other purpose but to congest my thinking. You know the ones of which I speak; they fall under the headings of worry, doubt, fear.  Some are buried deep in the archives, and need the “unstuffit” program to open them one last time before being eliminated forever.

How I wish…

On a hopeful note, with God’s help I really have been able to deconstruct some of these files enough that I truly could send them to the recycling bin. (and prayed that they would not return in their new “reconditioned” form) Though a few remnants remain, He has been faithful in showing me how to remove these roadblocks that have prevented my forward progress.

Oh, the joy and refreshment that comes when I can see these breakthroughs…and the inexplicable lightness that results when I commit  seemingly pressing issues to God.  He alone can work out all of the details, rendering all of  my prior fretting inconsequential.

For these past few days, life with Theo – and Enza – has made time (and my mind) stand still.  What a marvelous experience it is to see all things through an infant’s and child’s eyes of newness and wonder, with total trust in the caregivers who surround them.  Their sweet heads are empty of thoughts that clutter. Their innocent hearts harbor only love, pure and simple.

Such beauty…and isn’t this what God asks of us?

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children. Ephesians 5:1

As Moms, we are forever bonded to our children.  Kristy calls it “love glue” as she explains this phenomena to Enza.  Pregnancy  and birth are an indescribable experience in terms of emotions and intimacy…and excitement.

So, yesterday as Kristy started into labor, those memories of thirty years ago flashed in my mind.  Reminiscing was sweet, especially in the company of my daughter who was the gift of one of my labors. And yet, I marveled at the fact that I was there to share her relief and anticipation.  The baby was finally coming!

The baby got aroused too…and nudged sufficiently to break her water.  (He was polite enough to wait until we had finished lunch, though.)  Off we went to retrieve Enza from pre-school, pick up Leif from work and beeline it to the hospital. Contractions continued…

Yippee…I had Enza all to myself.  Of course I had to indulge in a bit of spoiling.  After all, she was soon to be a big sister.  We browsed through new books at the library, and then hit the ice cream shop.  It was 4:30 by then, so why not…

If Enza could eat the paper cup that the ice cream came in, she would.  That’s how much she loves it.

While savoring our creamy treat, I told Enza how much fun it was to have ice cream with her.  She promptly replied, “I’m having a Nana date!”  Oh be still, my heart…

Labor labored on…

With Enza tucked away for the night,  Kristy’s friend Libby offered to come over so I could go to the hospital.  By then we knew that the baby’s arrival was coming soon.  I hadn’t thought I would have this opportunity…but I thought, carpe diem…why not?

I arrived at the hospital within minutes of the end of visiting hours.  The front doors only opened when someone exited, and I lucked out on that one.  Fifteen minutes later, Theo Joseph Rick Johnson burst into the world!  A strapping 9lbs. 11 oz. and 20 inches long!  (Good thing Kristy didn’t wash those  0-3 month onesies)

The creation of human life is a marvelous, precious miracle. Each time one of our daughters was born, I felt this amazement all over again.  With Theo, all feelings were magnified.  Another flower bloomed in my heart, the seeds of which were planted long ago.  When Enza was born, my thought was that I had only known her for minutes – but I had loved her all my life.  Ditto for Theo…

I thrill at the thought of getting to hold him today, and seeing little Enza meet her brother.  I am honored and grateful to be here to share this wonder of wonders.

God is so good.  His creative genius, both awe-inspiring and humbling, has manifest itself once again in our lives.

For joys beyond words…Thank you, Lord!

For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  Psalm 139:13

We are awaiting the imminent birth of our new grandson in the next few days!  Amidst my prayers for his safe arrival into the world, my thoughts turn to wondering exactly what this precious little guy will look like.  Will he be a towhead  like Leif (and Enza), or have Kristy’s dark hair – or any hair at all?

I have butterflies inside as I wait to find out.

Photographically speaking, Joey is the creator of images in our house.  I just “take pictures” – and thank God for digital cameras that  allow me to fire away without truly having a grasp on any kind of technique.  If I’m lucky, I might get a decent result and a fairly respectable composition after hundreds of not so great photos. ( At least I am not wasting endless rolls of film.)

Joey, on the other hand, has acquired the  knowledge and has the creative eye that enables him to capture that mood or feeling that he visualizes. Most of his images are keepers. I admire him and all artists for that amazing gift of self-expression in their chosen medium, as they share their oeuvre with the world. 

The word image runs deep and wide. It is both noun and verb; it can be a real, physical representation, or just a concept.  This versatile word can serve as a symbol – corporate logos come to mind – or as a figure of speech, such as a simile or a metaphor.

Glancing at current publications reveals our culture’s preoccupation with appearances.  We are spoon-fed pages of what is considered the ideal image. We are constantly encouraged to shape up, slim down, preserve our youth, stimulate our minds, stay healthy…need I go on?

Television and magazines are filled with makeovers – before and after photographs that easily make us all wistful.  If only that could be me that lost those kajillion pounds, got that trendy new hairdo and make-up, had a fashion consult to update my wardrobe, or be that lucky woman who has that “perfect” life. 

In this world of externals, our focus on what’s inside quickly loses significance. 

During this advent season, how about considering a makeover of the heart? Consider a “weight-reduction program” –  getting rid of the accumulation of those “empty calories” that put on the pounds of melancholy, even despair.  All it takes is “exercising” new thought patterns…healthy attitudes to replace those that are toxic to the soul.

Let’s think about this concept of image …  Do we have it within us to accept ourselves as we are ( God loves us that way, you know)…or are we continually striving to become someone or something else?  And if that is the case, are we reaching for the things that God would want for us?

Do we offer our true selves to others – or are we reticent at revealing what’s really inside? Can we put another’s needs before our own?

If we could construct an “ideal self”, what would it look like?

The simple fact is, God created each of us in His image. (Talk about good genes!) Are we living up to this incredible heritage that is a gift to us? 

As I think long and hard about this, I know I have a few “internal adjustments” to make.  If God reveals that you should do the same, I encourage you in your journey toward Him.

We are strong enough to buck the trends…

Spiritual fashionistas, unite!  

And begin the journey of inner renovation.

In the meantime, I can’t wait to meet another of His precious creations…

Sipping that cup of coffee or tea – or that bowl of chicken soup – is so much more special when another person makes it and brings it to you.

This “room service” of sorts might be received while you are recovering from an illness or an operation.  It could also be an extra indulgence while on vacation, or a special surprise lovingly prepared by a child, spouse, or other significant person in your life to honor you on  a special occasion.

Or…it could simply be  a loving, unexpected gesture – a random expression of kindness.

Last year at this time Joey and I were in the Dominican Republic, working at the teaching hospital for Medical Ministry International. Our home away from home was the guest house on the hospital grounds. In a space that could accommodate up to 18 people, we had the luxury of the only room that had an”ensuite” bathroom.  That made up for having to sleep in bunk beds!

Caring to the needs of those residing in the guest house was Migdalia,  a lovely, cheerful woman whose love of the Lord lit her from within.  Every small task was performed with a smile.  During our six week stay, Migdalia prepared all of our meals, did our laundry, and kept everything clean and tidy.

We marveled at her joy in accomplishing seemingly mundane  and repetitive tasks, and her pleasure at our appreciation of her culinary skills. We practiced our conversational Spanish with her, and enjoyed her sense of humor when we had our nightly dinner together.

On our first morning back in Santa Fe, as I was making coffee, I kiddingly asked, “Where’s Migdalia?”  We were duly spoiled, not just by her service, but by the example of her servant’s heart.

For the past few days I have had my friend Sue in my prayers.  She is among the people I know who have had occasion to be attended to by many people during the past year – and not in the most extravagant way. A friend for over 36 years, Sue and I had our first babies within a month of each other, just before our husbands graduated from medical school. Our lives put miles between us – but we kept in touch through the years, chronicling the milestones of our children, and occasionally vacationing together.

Then, the  unexpected happened.  Divorce – and cancer – have invaded  her life during this past year.  Sue has been courageous through all of this, staying strong while maintaining a hopeful outlook, as well as keeping  her inimitable sense of  humor (which was difficult  at times, I would imagine).

Room service for Sue has an altogether different meaning.

As I continue to ponder what her days must be like, I am brought to startling awareness that my personal challenges pale by comparison.  And I further realize that the weight of our trials at hand is perceived – and endured –  uniquely by each of us.

For some, difficulties can be paralyzing; it takes everything in one’s power to get out of bed and face the day. Feelings of hopelessness and futility prevail.   Hardship equates with carrying the weight of the world.

In contrast, we can be amazed by the fortitude and optimism that others possess;  these are the people who, in the depths of suffering, still have it within to offer us an encouraging word.  I marvel at their focus on others when they have every reason to be self-absorbed.

Like Sue, I know others who valiantly shoulder gargantuan loads – with grace.  Margaret, a member of our church, had surgery a year ago for a brain tumor. During her recovery, she and her husband Don have shared their personal brand of hope and cheer to everyone they know. Buoyed by their deep faith, they move forward with their lives accompanied by a spirit of unflagging confidence in God’s plan.

There are those who have made it to  the other side – that of healing. My friend Jean just had a wonderful report, after having successful cancer treatment years ago.  Her heart carries joy and lightness; she has been able to unload those heavy worries that she carried for a time.

How does this all relate? We all have our own set of  “stones” that accompany us on our journey.  Some carry loads that can fit easily into a small backpack, while for others, the sheer mass of their burdens fills up a footlocker. 

Along comes God, who grabs one handle of our bag and walks alongside us….or is willing to carry our load Himself for a while.  When we stop and  catch our breath, He’ll provide the refreshment we need.

We can’t forget that He is at the ready – at our beck and call.

Ring Him up if necessary…

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:30